Radiant

Radiant adj. meaning: beaming: radiating or as if radiating light.

So all who know me know that I have a pestering way of getting down on myself for things. "Ugh, stupid Stefani, your keys are in your purse" or, "Im such a dummy, I cant sit & focus on schoolwork enough to get really good grades/sit & focus long enough to take the sermon & remember it into the week."
The point Im trying to make is that I berate myself a lot. I heard/read somewhere that everyone makes mistakes & so when you do instead of saying those self-hurting statements you should instead say a positive affirmation like, "its okay, everyone misplaces their keys, its not a big deal". I did that for about a week & then Absentminded Me would forget to...

For the last month, two months....maybe its been as much as 4-6, Ive really lost all concept of time being in school full-time & working 40+ hours a week...Ive known that I have not been doing good at surrendering to God(s will). I want to & I ask God to help me but I feel that there are other things in my life (uhhh...like life lol) that keep blocking me from being able to give to Him & live according to Him.
Now, Im not placing the blame on other things alone, its also a major me problem. I buy the devotion books, read a day or two & never continue. I get moved to tears in worship over prayer requests God has placed on me & then I dont follow up with them because I have always been horrible with prayer & even worse at keeping up with things. My roadblock to a complete life with & for God is myself & my dedication.
Which makes me feel even worse. I could honestly care less about blowing off schoolwork or missing a bill payment because those are worldly things that are merely here for the moment & will pass in time...but blowing off God?? Thats crap!

It has always been my goal to be a servant for God. I want to leave something on this Earth for Him; I want to radiate Him in my life & everything I do. I want those things for Him.

But wanting isnt always enough. You could want your whole life & if you dont do it may ever happen.

I feel God moving me away from the path I (thought) I was supposed to be on. Im going to complete where I am at currently but it doesnt feel like it is where I am meant to be or what Im meant to do with my life. Only time will tell for that though. Lets see where I am in a year.
In the meantime I need to prioritize, cleanse my heart & my life, figure out what needs doing & follow through with it. Not for me, my schooling or my future, but for Him. The ultimate. I want to be so radiant for Him.

Im Afraid Ive Gone Entirely Bonkers. But I'll Tell You A Secret, All The Best People Are

I lied! I did take pictures on Friday. It just seems like so long ago (ha) that it slipped my mind until I loaded my camera tonight (this morning?)

Heres one of the shots from Friday. Can you tell me whats going on in this picture?

PhotoGirl Say What??

I know, I know...I didnt post yesterday. On top of that, I didnt take a single picture in the entire 24 hours that was Friday. I guess I just got too caught up in living my life. So here's what Ive got for you today.

Next week Family H that I work for is going on vacation to this lovely, tropical spot. My boss asked me semi-jokingly if I wanted to go to & I think I surprised her when I said, "yes, please."

(Kauai)

The week after that, Family F (which consists of Tiny Love, Mr.J & the elusive Ms.G) is going on vacation to this magical kingdom of happiness.

(Disneyland)

I can hear you now, "Stefani, how wonderful! Hawaii one week & Disneyland the next! What a great job you have!"

Lest we get too excited for me, no-no, whilst my families are away I will be spending my "time off?" fulfilling my fieldwork with Dementia patients.

I know....thrillingly exciting, isnt it?

But dont worry about my being overworked. In January I will be taking a week of my pto to go here.

(Minnesota)

Some Days...

Boots Are For Lovers

Well...its A-Boot (hahaha) time I post for the day.

Rock On

The band rockin' out last night :)

So I Lied

I know you'll forgive me

Nowhere Else In The World

I sat/laid on this couch for about 4 hours today with absolutely no priorities. I was surrounded by my friends & the sound of the rain falling could be heard through the open screen door. This is my life & there is nowhere else in the world I want to be.

Saturday's Post On Saturday Night

Wicked!!!

Friday's Post On Saturday

Ive wanted to take a picture of this guy all semester. I finally did today & I love the gray sky background.

Hello Beautiful Fall

This may be the last "tootsies in the sand" picture of the year & it cannot come too soon, ha! I simply adore fall & winter & am loving this weather!

Who???

Who thinks of these things?! Is this not a tad on the creepy side?

Hop On The Train

Is ethics something you can really be trained in? I always thought it was something that was more within you & you could be swayed one way or the other. Your thoughts?

My Days & My Nights Are Slowly Becoming Reversed

Though it is officially Tuesday, here is Monday's post my friends.

Thoughts for today?

I was just watching an episode of 'The Buried Life', which I really like. Their whole thing is, "what do you want to do before you die?"

Hmmmm...pretty sure within the last four days Ive crossed a few things off of my bucket list, if I ever sat down to make one. Some I never thought about until they were done, some were in my mind to do.

Life is for living & we've only got so long. Dont waste your time puttering around & sitting stagnant. Allow yourself to be driven by forces beyond your comprehension & reason, be proactive & gutsy like the guys on the show were tonight (they caught a fugitive for crying out loud!) & try not to look back too much.

Its like the wise master turtle from Kung Fu Panda says, "Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. But today is a gift & thats why its called the present."

With The Band

You know you want to be in our band. We would totally let you in too...ya know, if we had one.

Glorious

An absolutely glorious sunrise this morning. Just one of God's many masterpieces' in this world. Blessed to experience the beauty of this world.

Making A Memory

*******This Is Friday's Post*******

********Its Late, But Theres A Great Reason For It********

Things to remember from last night:



*Making my first "mad as a hornet" slam/joke

*Hearing Paul "giggle" for the first time

*Playing Rock Band for the first time with absolutely no rhythm (Ill get better, I promise!)

*Not sleeping at all

*A sunrise walk by the water & being able to smell the early morning as it rose

*Worship album cover photo shoot

*Feeling 99.9% content, joyful, happy in my life exactly where I am at this moment



*Dont forget these things.*

Immersion

Spunky Punky (in purple pants) & I went to the local pumpkin farm a few mornings ago. We paid for a tour & the owner said we could tag along with a class that was there on a field trip. S.P. had no problem immersing herself in their little class, as you can see. I felt like I had to reign her in a few times, after all, they were established friends & classmates & had no idea who she was, ha!

Twice A Week

Rick's Round Deux

Yes Its One Of Those Weeks

This picture is oh so reflective. Maintaining a calm, clear & balanced hand on life all while the other hand is (or at least feels like its) spinning & whirling, previously having a direction but now consumed with vertigo.

Ohhhh life, I love you but man what a ride this is.

When You Come To A Baby In The Road

Much like Mr.J in this photo, I feel like Ive come to a barrier in my ideal vision for my life & just like I told Mr.J today, I need to find a different idea of a good way to go & be happy about it. So me & God had a talk on the drive home tonight.

Im tired of wasting time out of my life on dreams/ideas/visions that arent working/dont feel right/wont ever happen. Im frustrated in being patient with the unknown plan that is my future that I know is so divinely blessed & planned for me that I should never question it. Im gonna be completely honest here & say; Im tired of not getting what I want even though its so within reach (at least it seems that way). I know, thats a very 5 year old way of acting.

But even though I tell myself I will stop wasting time on these things, I still do it, ugh. Part of me feels that I think on things a lot because God puts it on my heart for a reason & that may be because hes preparing me for something, but I dont want to get run away with thoughts.

Ive prayed for things before & God did exactly as I prayed for, but now what I asked for just doesnt seem enough or sufficient or working anymore. Does that happen to anyone else? I hope so. This really isnt in a selfish way, at least I dont mean it to be at all. I feel things work at one point in time but then not at another, needs change.

Praying for peace, assurance & guidance tonight

10 Things On My Mind On 10/10/10

*The message at church this morning (on broken dreams) hit close to home, a little too close to home.

*I love my life, even though its nothing like what I wanted or thought it would become

*I see God revealing himself & his will to me everywhere, everyday

*I cant wait for the weather to cool down to a real fall climate

*I believe for the above point to happen I need to move out of California

*Pushing myself therapeutically & exposing myself to stimuli that normally overstimulates me is a good thing

*Sometimes I feel like Id like to start exercising...& then the feeling leaves me

*I really want to find a pair of fall/winter boots & a new fall handbag

*I have got to buckle down & do some schoolwork today

*I miss my girl, but its okay, Ill see her tomorrow!

I Cant Remember & Some Dessert

Not good lighting, but good cake.

I was also planning on writing on something else.
I was able to remember what it was about; it is about not being able to remember feelings.

I was going to write about that but I think I will just mention it & move on.

The Good Life

I saw this movie tonight & its a good one! You'll laugh, you'll definitely cry. There were a few parts where I was caught with uncontrollable laughter (from the sheer truth & relevance to my life, ya know?).

The baby is A-dorable, Katherine Heigl is an A+ actress & that Josh Duhamel isn't half bad either, if ya know what im sayin, heh. So what Im telling y'all is, go see it!

Rumpusers...Rumpusees?

I name this photo:

SleepyHeadFussyPants, Max (Think Wild Things) & The Giant Pumpkins

It was a riproarin' day 'round these parts :)

PS...I dare you to ask me about the blanket tied to the stroller handle...I dare you

Hes Got The Whole World In His Hands

Its days like this Im glad I know God.

& thats all Ive got to say about that!

Gleek

Cant blog now...watching Glee.

Ruffle Monday

I cant get enough of a ruffle tooshie.

Make Mine A Double

What can I say? I do believe I was kind of born to do this :)

Operation: You Have An Entire Free Day, Dont Waste It!

I had nowhere to be today & no obligations so I decided to finally tackle my spare room. Everyone has this room in their house, right? Well, I do...did. It was sometime last week on the ten thousandth time I tripped to near injury it became clear it needed to be done. Besides, Jacob & Edward deserve a cool & clean place to hang. See what I just did there? Heh. Moving on.

Here are some before pics:

This is looking in from the door. Its a small room, the mess doesnt help the size.

Another view. Honestly, I got into the routine of opening the door & dropping things on the ground. A spare room is very convenient for that.

Here are the after pics:

There is a carpet! Stained & old, but its there!

I really want to put something on this wall other than these drawers. Someday.

I bought a bookshelf at Target today (& put it together myself).

I decided to put some of my favorite books on the shelves. The bottom shelf holds school stuff.

Month That Ushers In My Absolute Favorite Time Of Year/Better Known As, October

Yip Yip Yipee, Its October!!!

I like the Harvest Time just a little...can you tell?