Like Your Mama Always Said, Its Not All About You

They say "its your life, do what makes you happy" & all the advertisements are throwing "its all about you" at consumers....

"But what if theres a bigger picture? What if my own little world is not about me?"

Why the WonderPets you ask?..."because whats gonna work?...teamwork!"

I Would Hate To See The Inside Of My Head

Because I did not have the opportunity to print out my school assignment but it needed to be handed in tonight I wrote it out & took photos of it so I could later type & email it to the teacher without having to recall it all from memory (they prefer to have it in print form).

Thats just how I roll.

Very Important Update

I know y'all couldnt have finished your day without this news. The massive poster of Edward (acquired @ TwiCon) has been moved to my spare room/dumping ground. With Jacob on the other wall it is officially a Twilight room, ha!

How He Loves Us

One thing non-believers will say often about what bothers or holds them back from God & religion is the concept of a judging, controlling, harsh God who looms over them watching & punishing them for their wrongdoings. The thing is that He is not any of these things.

The reason God is called Abba, Father, is because He is our creator & so He takes on the role of a father. He loves us unconditionally. That means that no matter how many times we screw up or how badly we do, He may be upset with us as any parent would, but He will forgive us because that Agape love is there.

A parent would be deemed "bad" if they did not impose expectations or some sort of rules for their children to follow. Children need direction, Child Development 101! When children try to take things into their own, inexperienced hands, it will almost always go awry. They need the direction & guidance of their more knowledgeable, wise & experienced parents to help raise & lead them down the paths that they know is in the best interest of their child.

Children dont always want to follow the rules. The backtalk, the whining, the "but whhhyyyyys??"

This is why many people questions God's plan or the laws in the Bible. Why shouldnt you partake in premarital sex? Why shouldnt you go to a party & drink? Some people say that there are so many rules & so many things that can't be done. "Doesnt God want you to have any fun"?

Sometimes in life we dont always get to do the stuff we want to do (or that everyone else is doing), but its okay because we know that our parents know what is best for us, even if we cant see it.

Some people are disturbed by the fact that followers of God seem to get upset, moved to tears, by their faith or when they feel they have fallen short of God's expectations. I was moved to tears during "How He Loves" this past Sunday because I fall short a lot y'all & it does shame me when I am in front of my father, just as it would shame me in front of my earthly father had I fallen short of an expectation (which, growing up, happened many-a-time, & many-a-time I was, indeed, brought to tears...lots & lots of them). I get so caught up in life, in school, come on in Twilight. The fact is that sometimes what I know should be getting done just isnt. It is extremely humbling that my Father forgives & loves me even after He knows the other things I do & think of all day besides Him.

This may be a stretch but I feel like one of the things that holds people back from religion is the aspect of admitting you are wrong in something ( so much sometimes) & having to be comfortable with being able to say, " I know nothing, Im a weak & dirty sinner", praying to & putting full faith in an unseen Father. I think that is hard for people to jump into.

This whole "living for God thing" is about living for something other than yourself. Now thats not to say you dont enjoy your life or take a backseat to others, not at all! It is an everyday, conscious decision that, when given an option or choice, nine times out of ten you choose the hard road because you know its the right road.

Yes, you do have to give up control of your life, you give it over! Let me tell you something, you will never be so rewarded, blessed, overcome as when you do that. To give yourself completely to the Lord (which btw, I havent in all areas. Its hard!) is the most releasing thing you can ever do because you know that are taken care of 100%.

Even if life gets bad, tragedy strikes, money goes, health plummets, you are still taken care of. You are still okay.

I Did Not Get The Blood Sucked Out Of Me, Nor Attacked By A Werewolf

I attended a TwiCon today

(thats a Twilight Convention, for those of you not down with "the lingo")

It was SOOOOO much fun y'all!

I do believe that after working myself to the bone taking care of other peoples babies, attending non-stop classes...ya know, doing virtually nothing for myself, I really deserve to be purely joyful in a completely silly way for one afternoon.

& Thats exactly what I did.

& Now I have some wall art for my living room, heh.

Tell Me Im Wrong

Disclaimer: There is no need to call a 5150 on me. I am not so delusional that I actually believe this post to hold any real truth. Except maybe the last compare/contrast photo...that one is just freaky.

While flipping through some magazine at work recently, it was one of the important ones like People or US Weekly ya know, I came across a picture of Kristen Stewart at an event & thought, "Gah! We could be twins!" Well okay, maybe sisters...

Perhaps its the haphazardly pulled up ponytail (obviously done purposely in her case...not typically so much in mine)

Or it could be the lazy eye (I am not judging, for heaven's sake it afflicts me too)

Quite possibly it is her tendency to leave her mouth open (tryin' to catch flies). I learned painfully that I, too, do this.

Ive saved the most freakishly similar piece of evidence for last. While dredging through online photos for this post I found one & it pulled to memory a photo of mine all too similar to not share with y'all

Photo of me taken on my BDay

Now tell me this isnt weird...Twilight Zone Status...heh

No Pun Intended

What I do know sets us apart...

....yeeeahhhh...not so similar with Ms.Stewart there. Rock it Girl.

Weekend Agenda

Friday Night:

Pedicure- Check

Relaxing in front of t.v.- Check

Saturday:

Class

Work Saturday Night (After Class)

Sunday:

Church

Homework

&...if I can fit it in...

Twilight Convention!! Ohhhh Yeah!

More Learning From The Movies

Heres another movie quote for y'all. (Kim)

"Calling someone else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter...all you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you."

Name that movie!

Barefoot In The Park

I supremely adore these tootsies.

(It was such a gorgeous day there was no need for shoes at the park)

Learning From Movies

Love this pic from the weekend

There was an online article a few days ago with a bunch of quotes from high school movies. Here is the first I want to share with you.

"Just because you're beautiful doesn't mean you can treat people like they don't matter."

Name that movie!

(Googling Not Allowed!)

Put A Cover On It

My first "Ballet Bun".

Not bad if I say so myself.

Whatever You Do Kids, Do Not Touch The Books

I just remembered this from the other day at Border's with the kids.
We were in the children's section & Tiny Love had been pulling the puppets/stuffed animals off the rack & lovin on them so they were laying on the ground as I was toddling around after her. (Of course with full intentions of cleaning up after ourselves)
An employee walks back & while she begins picking them up I apologize saying, "So sorry about that. We're having a bit of a playtime."
She responds with something totally rude that is escaping me at the moment, along the lines of "well its a big mess..."
I counter ever so politely with, "well, you know, it is the childrens section after all." & do you know what she says?
"Well, it is a retail store also, after all."

I beg your pardon??

Ummm, lady, Im in the childrens section of a bookstore. You know, thats the area with toys, puppets & brightly colored rugs & the baby I am with was attracted by those items.
It made me not want to spend any money in her retail store. But Id already promised the kids & its just not good to go back on a promise made to a 4 year old.

Tears Of Exhaustion

Well, I did it! Ive returned home from working 5 straight days & let me tell you a little something.

Ive never been this exhausted IN MY LIFE. Y'all, my cuticles are sore (Im not kidding)

I GET IT now...all of it

& Yeah...my dreams of 5 children...well...
I guess you never know.

Unless you know.

& Then you do.

So now I get to relax, you know, until I have to go to work in the morning. I find it a bit ironic that I was at work because my boss' were on a vacation & now I need one.

PS-Just for the record, I LoveLove my kids. The fact that I may or may not have began to cry when their parents arrived home this evening bears absolutely no reflection on my love for them.

I was just so happy to see their parents.

Walking Shoes

After breakfast (apple donuts & apple juice) the kids & I went to Borders & then went to the Old Folsom Farmer's Market...& all before 1pm, ha!

Lets just say, they were exhausted, Im exhausted & my dogs are barkin'!

Momma

A list of former facts that I now know to be truths:

"What?! Honey, what is it?! Im just trying to go potty right quick, cant you just hold on a quick second so I can pee for the first time in nine hours..."

-The answer is no.

"Havent I already told you (37 times) to turn on your listening ears? Are we having a problem listening?"

-The answer is (most always) yes.

Maybe if Im really quiet & stay in bed it will rub off on them & they will sleep in later.

-HA. The answer is no.

"What? Im meant to pick up/drop her off? Now, while Im in the midst of feeding/changing/bathing the baby?"

-The answer is yes. And its okay to drop the ball once in a while (im told)

Did I get hit by a bus?

-The answer is no, it just feels like it.

Have I ever been this tired in my life?

-The answer is no.

Have I ever worked so hard in my life?

-The answer is no.

After this week I will never look at mothers the same way again. Holy cow y'all. Its non-stop all day, from the second your feet hit the ground & when they are your kids it NEVER ends. There is always something else to do as far as the home goes (&...uh, Im not even really doing it all, ha!).

My heart has been softened & my eyes opened...except right now they are closing under the weight of tiredness.

When You Give A Baby Rice...

...Shes going to make a mess

A New Oddity For The List & Midnight Ramblings

What is this thing called Phantom Crying? I was laying in bed last night trying to fall asleep & kept hearing the Tiny Love cry, would check the monitor & she was actually asleep. I also kept hearing Mr.J patter into my room during the night & come stand next to my bed, Id lift up my eyemask, no Mr.J.

This has happened to me before even when I am at my house (where there are no children). I wake up swearing Ive heard the baby mumbling or crying.

Just something else to look forward too I suppose!

Update

***************************************************************************************************

....I willl not be able to sleep if I know the baby is not asleep

&...she only took one 1 1/2 hour nap today, its currently 12:46am local time & shes having a little dance party in that crib of hers. Where does this come from?
Well, at least I know that the cats are content (as there is one flanking either side of me, passed out, as I type), but I digress...not exactly sure how long to let the crib clubbing go for as I do have to deal with the repercussions in the morning (oh so early morning), but also not sure what else to do. Shes been bottled, changed & rocked...soooooooooooo....my plethora of years experience are telling me.................................

sorry about that, I nodded off for a quick second there.

Twins Would Be A Breeze

Bwahahahahahahahaha.

Snacktime with J & SP. No they dont have plates because sometimes thats how we roll. Yes they were slightly thrown off by this but quickly recovered. Its called being adaptable kids, the sooner you master it the better. I learned it in OTA school, you can google it :)

Fight The Good Fight

There comes a time in each of our lives when the road is uphill & rocky as opposed to level & smooth. Weve all been there for different reasons & to a different extent. The way we deal with our journey is dependent upon many things; our faith & spirituality, the personal support we have & one's view of themselves & their world around them are just a few of the influences on how we deal with life's challenges.

Being a Christian, one of the cornerstones of my faith is community, outreach & accountability. It is essential that a person be involved in their community, be it neighborhood, school, work, church or otherwise & by involved it is meant more than simply showing up & bringing a drink on picnic day. It means forming & deepening relationships with other members of that community, growing true compassion for the people around you, helping where you are needed (because it is through serving others that you will ultimately grow). It means to not be so caught up in your life so that you take time to slow down & check in on your neighbors.

Remember y'all...Jesus first, Others second, Yourself last...but man, its so easy to forget this in everyday life.

My school family was short one member tonight. Without going into detail (as per HIPPA..heh) there was a very rocky road, unbalance, unsettlement, & a personal attempt on life made which ultimately led to voluntary arrest & hospitalization.
My classmates & I (I dont typically speak for others but I feel in this situation I can speak for all when I say) are rattled, shaken & saddened by this news. There are so many other emotions people are feeling tonight, Im sure, but at the moment I am at a loss for more words.

On a personal note, I feel ashamed & a tad bit disgusted with myself to be quite honest, that my classmate was sitting down the tables from me for a month & I never said more than hello to her. SERIOUSLY?! Now, am I only feeling this way because of the incidents that have occurred? Im not sure. But I feel that God is using this to bring to my sight the SERIOUS gaps in my day to day, shall I call it, living out of my faith. I dont want to dwell on the what ifs because, Thank You God, she is alive & getting the help needed. I will just leave with this one last thought:

We are here to be God's instruments & I am seeing more clearly that Im not doing my job properly. What do you do each day to fulfill this?

....&...some hope from Josh Wilson..."Before The Morning"

Shadowy

Im not entirely sure if shadowy is a word, but it is the title of today's post because that is what this picture is! What I learned in taking this picture: Dont use a flash in front of the glass door when light is shining through it. The result will be what you see here. Cute still.

Meet My New Ride

Here she is. A name has yet to come to me, so for the time being she is just being called "She".

It is a 2009 Mazda Mazda5, a sport wagon, and has a third row of seats! Can I get a WooHoo?! There are cup holders galore, air vents in the back for the kids & a snazzy ipod ready feature. The only major compromise is there is zilch cargo space (when the third row is up, which it is, seeing as that is the main reason I bought this type of car) But it was so easy for the kids to just pile into it & snap themselves in that I will just figure out the space thing as I go along. I got a great deal on it & with my trade in so my monthly payments are great for me. Im so loving it!

Happy Birthday

Can anybody guess what went on today in my neck of the woods? This picture isnt very sneaky. What can I say, Im in a nice mood, ha!

Happy birthday Sweet Baby! Your Nanny loves you a million times a day.

I Woke Up 16 Hours Ago

Today was a very long day. A good, very eventful day, but a long day nonetheless. More to come tomorrow.

My Little Soapbox

You know what bothers me? Ads that tell me what to do. Well, I suppose that is the intention of ads, but you know what I mean. Some are far more in your face than others. With flu season around the corner, flu shot ads are already trickling out, Lord help us all, in fact my boss has already mentioned to me about getting hers & that she was able to get one without preservatives. (Though she is pregnant, so perhaps I can see her case a bit more.)

First of all, can I just say that I did not get the H1N1 flu vaccine last year & guess what, Im still alive! Oh there was a lot of hub-bub (my mother included). "Stefani, perfectly healthy people are dying. You have to get the vaccine." Im not some uninformed someone making a snap decision about my health. Im a health care student who researched the issue, weighed my options & decided against getting the H1N1 vaccine in its first year for these reasons:

*It was rushed out into the public with very little market testing done. (thats why so many people had a negative reaction to it)

*They did not, at the time, know all the effects of it (as stated by creators) because it was rushed.

*I was not aware of any preservative free vaccine available at the time

*I try to put the minimal amount of medicine/artificial anything in my body that is necessary

*I was in a semi-low risk group (age 23, healthy) & because of my job I knew that I would spend the winter months sitting inside of a house all day every day with limited contact to the outside world.

So now that the H1N1 shot is in its second year I should be willing to get it right? Well, there really is no reason to seeing as there is no longer a large national outbreak or local outbreak of H1N1.

Now onto the regular seasonal flu vaccine. I have always gotten this in past years because of my job caring for children. For some reason last year because of my schedule I could never get in to get it & it went undone. I dont recall getting the flu. I believe I caught a cold & a stomach bug was passed through the house somewhere in the spring but that is all I can remember. While last year I was inside the house a great deal more (with a newborn), this year I wont be as much. Also, I will be completing a level of my fieldwork in either an ADHCC or a Mental Health Care Facility, so I will be around more people. So I will probably get the vaccine this year as I will be exposed to more germs.

I feel that education is the most important thing. People seem to just jump into anything just because they are told to do so without researching & finding out what it is all about. We need to be proactive about ourselves, our health, & our lives & that begins with empowerment & education.

i.e. You dont have to get a flu shot just because the ads tell you to.

Dont Get Me Started In On Sunrise, Sunset

From bity baby To busy toddler

Week 1: Projectile poop...

Projectile spit-up...
Projectile poop & spit-up at the same time...

Month 1: Bottle, sleep, change, repeat...bottle, sleep, change, repeat...

Month 3: Rolling, shes rolling! Wait, shoot, where'd she go?

Month 5: Does. Not. Care. For. Cereal. Got it.

& Sitting up!

Month 6: Mmmmmmm...pureed fruit is yummy.

Month 7 (& forevermore): Teething bites. Hard.

Month 8: We have a crawler. Once you've gone mobile life will never be the same!

Month 10: Big people food is sooo much yummier than baby food. Pasta is the best!

Month 11: Big Step! Someone is walking!

September 10, 2010: You're 1, baby! You've come so far & have got a long way to go.
Im thrilled, blessed & so lucky to be along for the ride.

Me

************************************************************************

*Huge Grin*

Reality Is In The Eye Of The Artist

Family Picture: Drawn by Spunky Punky, Age 4 1/2

One of Spunky Punky's homework assignments was to draw a picture of her family. She started with drawing Mummy, then we took a break & returned to the assignment later in the day. She then drew herself & finally Daddy.

I will preface this by saying that she completed this totally independently (aside from a little coaxing, "what are you going to draw after her body?" type thing).

First: I didnt realize that Spunky Punky was being raised in the 70's, but it is clearly evident, through her depiction of the family's wardrobe, that is what she is accustomed to seeing.

Next: Mummy seems depicted accurately enough, S.P. is in the right ballpark as well...

I do not know what happened to Daddy.

Sure enough, he has long black hair & she got the eye color right but any resemblance pretty much ceases there. & maybe its the black hair with the green shirt & wild eyes, but Daddy looks like some crazed Halloween character. Ha!

...Can I just say, it took all the strength in me to not laugh out loud while she sat working so hard, little tongue sticking out between her pursed lips. Bless her heart, I love these littles!

...oh yeah, dont ask me whats going on with Daddy's pants. I can only assume the obvious but I didnt ask.

Ice Ice Baby

Shopping at Target on crowded days overstimulates me to the brink of insanity. It makes me really need a popsicle.

The Way I See It

"No one knows where the smallest particles & life forms came from..." (scientists talking about evolution)

The life forms, molecules, gases, what-have-you, had to come from somewhere! ( & im not buying the whole "on the backs of crystals" or "probed down by aliens" theory)

"The goal is to push out religion as it has become so big & popular & make it just something 'fun' that people do for pleasure on the weekend & it doesnt take over their lives." ~not their exact quote~(scientist talking about the goals of the evolution/intelligent design debate)

Im sorry...but I was under the impression that this was a free country based & grounded on diversity & freedom of speech, beliefs & religion...but I guess that only applies if I believe what you support.
You know, one thing that really ruffles my feathers is that religion is attacked with such fervor & people get downright nasty about it. I may not agree with your life choices/religious path either, but I dont attack you for it. & maybe thats the defining difference?

For goodness sakes dont get me started on Richard Dawkins. Y'all, lets just say I actually feel compelled by the very God he denies to pray for him. "Faith qualifies as a delusion." & "It is absolutely safe to say that, if you meet somebody who claims not to believe in evolution, that person is either ignorant, stupid, or insane."

Yo! First of all, I realize you are a "very intelligent scientist" & all, but really, what makes you so much more of an expert on the matter than the people on the side opposite of you? How can you stand there & say science is absolutely without a doubt 100% right & there is absolutely, without a doubt, no chance that there is the possibility of anything else? & who the He** are you to call other people stupid & insane?

***Deep breath***

Instead of calling you those names back I am praying for you tonight, Sir Richard Dawkins, Atheist & Scientist Who Apparently Knows All Above Anyone Else.

So how do you like them cookies?

Laundry List

I had a completely fun day yesterday. Started off by a few hours of itty bitty babies & continued with ideal Saturday relaxation (lunch & shopping with a friend). It was all ended with a viewing of Twilight & what could be better than that? Thats what I thought, ha!

On the subject of Twilight...Ive noticed that my readers/comments have dropped since my little miniseries post on Twilight...hmmm...perhaps that wasnt the smartest move in terms of growth.

There are things that need to get done that I really must do. Anybody else have that problem?

I was planning on going to the 11:30 church service this morning. I set my alarm for 9:30, but when I opened my eyes & looked at my phone & it was 11:28.

My Tiny Love will be one this week! How did this happen?

Thats all for now, I believe. Happy Sunday!

Just Thought...

...this would make y'all smile

Happy Saturday

EWWWWWW

Have you ever watched a slightly grown-up movie with an almost tween? I have (am) & oh the hoots, hollers & sly glances that certain content (ahem) will elicit.

Hands-On

Love

The Ramblings of a Perfect Imperfection

Dont ask me y'all...these are the things that run through my head as I lay in bed at night. I could cry if I werent so tired.

A is married to B. (They did not meet at the top of a coconut tree.) C & D are married & expecting a baby. E & F are on baby number 2. Wait, did you feel that? Another couple just got engaged.

To be honest, its getting to the point where I want to take a long walk off a short pier. (So I watched Back To The Future the other night & have been dying to use that line.)

Is anybody out there?...hello...anybody...just checking...

This is not to say I dont find joy in others' joy...or that I dont sing along every time Nickleback's song Gotta Be Somebody comes on...& while we're on the topic of songs...really Michael Buble/Frank Sinatra? Im nobody til' somebody loves me? Im pretty sure I dont dig those lyrics.

*Also, for the record, if I have to hear one more person ask me: soooo, have you met anyone/is there anyone you like/are you dating anyone, I am warning y'all. It might get ugly. I just might have to turn away from the dear, blessed individual, scream into a pillow & then turn back to the conversation whilst changing the topic to something more pleasurable, like Twilight or the downfall of nutrition in America. Hear me now & forevermore...when there is something to tell I will tell it.

But I keep hearing God whisper in my ear (okay, so its more like shouting) to enjoy this time in my life because its going to change very soon. I have heard Him tell me this on multiple occasions & just know it is His way of saying, "enjoy these days. Take it all in. Be satisfied. You'll get yours soon enough."...segway...

I was watching "If You Really Knew Me" & a boy was saying how on a day he almost committed suicide there was "something in my head telling me not to" & I was all but shouting at the t.v. that that "something" was God! You know that thing people call a conscience, well y'all, Ive got a secret for ya. Its really God.

Conscience = God.

Yep, so all those people who don't really know if they are walking with God or even if there is a God are dealing with Him on a daily basis. Isnt that fantastic?!

...Ive noticed that in the past few months I am genuinely enjoying things more I have at any other time in my life. Like the way Tiny Love crawls with her bottom up in the air or the Autumn Smelling candles at Bath & Body Works. Im just getting a kick out of things like that in a way I never have before.

So Im meant to soak in these days with other people's children, soaking in this time as a student & wading in the kiddie pool as a baby Christian.

In four years at my 10 year high school reunion my classmates & friends will have 3, 4, 5 y.o.'s,...some will even have 8, 9, 10 y.o.'s. & I...will be me. Hmmmm...I might just need to have me a baby. Ha! No no, I kid.

Is anyone else confused as to where the days go so quickly?